I never thought I’d witness the release of 3.0 in my lifetime

I dislike Arch btw

Yeah, well maybe you should put this into your graph as a choice. You might not like it but Ubuntu still has a major support for anything Linux related. Any manufacturer or software development - if they support Linux, there is a high chance that they mean basically Ubuntu, quite often they tested it just there. This is a HUGE advantage for any beginner.

Beginners don’t care about behind the curtain stuff, they just want things to work. And you might not like Canonical but Ubuntu does this

Can someone list those piracy subscription services so we can avoid them as responsible citizens?

Linux users really are like vegetarians/vegans - they want you to join them and when you do, then they judge you for not being vegetarian/vegan enough

I know this is a common joke but how many of us don’t have a problem like this?

Personally I usually have a horible memory but this is never an issue for me, I can stop at any moment and pick up relatively quickly later