I also would rather manage what I block or federate to. I hate that Lemmy enables instances to have too much control over its users, deciding what you can and cannot see and admins can see your PMs too. I got fed up with Lemmy.world because of their federation fuckups, why would communities that talk about piracy but don’t link to anything cause an admin to get sued? They won’t, reddit allows more piracy talk than Lemmy.world does lmao. Obviously Nintendo searches through the fediverse for anyone even saying they pirated stuff, right guys?! Nah I just don’t care for their admins. I usually dont agree with whatever their admins say, I even saw someone from world complain about Lemmy.world policies on their thread and the user got their account deleted by an admin with a nice smug response from them. I can’t have my own instance since I don’t have the money to spare, otherwise I would since it is BS that Lemmy doesn’t allow users to have the same control over their feed as an admin.
I prefer end to end encryption, like in Matrix, Signal, SimpleX, etc. So I don’t use Lemmy for PMs since they are not actually private, hell I went quite a while where I stopped using Lemmy because it is not meant for someone interested in their own privacy despite the irony of having multiple privacy focused communities. If someone doesn’t want to host instances dedicated to CSAM I could see them wanting to defederate, but so far I’ve seen defederation used as a temper tantrum. It’s always over some stupid drama. If you don’t want to host whatever then what is the point of opening your instance to other people? I fail to see why someone would bother going through this trouble and then say no you can’t view this community meant for modifying your nintendo switch. Even reddit does not care as much as the instance owners on Lemmy do. It’s just baffling. Also good luck deleting your posts and comments. Ugh this convo makes me hate Lemmy again.